Flashforward Thus Far

H: I am frustrated.

A: Pourquoi?

H: I want Flashforward to be great, and it's just ok. It's very, very, very ok.

A: Except Charlie showed up last episode! Oh wait ... I mean "Simon." I keep wanting to call him "Charlie" because of LOST, but now Charlie is that annoying little girl who can't act and holds a weirdy stuffed animal all the time.

H: At this point, I'm expecting Simon to be a good guy that they'll introduce as shady. I don't buy that he caused the blackouts. I'm guessing that the "greatest disaster in human history" that he and Commodore Norrington are responsible for was like ... an embarrassingly lame bowling party.

A: That just made me laugh out loud. I'm thinking that Simon was referring to the blackouts. But I have a feeling they're a part of some minor shady deal that they think somehow caused it, but it has nothing to do with it at all. And we'll find that out in like two months.

H: Hmm. Yeah, that's a good theory. Or maybe they were pawns in a bigger thing involving that freako from the doll factory. Wow, I don't even like saying "doll factory." I feel like that episode dipped into super-cliche. That's kind of how I feel about a lot of the FBI/hospital stuff at this point. Cliche. Am I too harsh?

A: Not really. I just have a lot of hope for this show, therefore I feel slightly bad about knocking it. Today in French class I learned that the word for "doll" is poupée. I wish the factory was called a poupée factory.

H: Now that's original. Ok, here's my basic complaint right now: I'm really intruiged by the blackout and what caused it—that's why I'll keep watching—but I don't really care about the characters yet. Because, as someone pointed out to me the other day, they introduced them with all with their problems up front (drinking, marriage will go bad, guy gets murdered, etc.) before I really ... cared.

A: Yeah! I think you just nailed it on the head. Okay, that was a lame expression. But seriously, I was trying to figure out why I don't enjoy it that much, and that's totally why! I don't care about them yet. Maybe they're trying to be new and creative by doing everything backwards! So then it's like a backwards ... flash ... forward... I don't know. But what I do know is that everyone needs to just start watching Fringe because it's way better.

H: Off the top of your head, give me your two best reasons I should watch Fringe, and we'll see if I'm convinced. Go.

A: Oh my gosh, I could think of a lot more than two. But I'll try these two: 1) One character, who is basically a modern-day mad scientist, is played by John Noble (known to us for his role as Denethor in Lord of the Rings).

2) Every week I have at least one of those "LOST moments" where I hold my head and go "NO!!! NO WAY." And that's followed by at least 10 minutes of daydreaming about theories.

H: I can't say I'm a huge fan of ol' tomato-chomping Denethor, but I miss my LOST moments. Don't have time for a new show right now, but maybe .... maybe when Flashforward finally loses me.

A: I don't think it will lose me. Half because once I start a show, I feel compelled to finish it, and half because I hate not knowing everything. Also, I think the winning-over factor was that huge mysterious tower blowing smoke in Somalia where all the crows died. Was the focus on the tower? Or on the smoke coming out of it? No idea. I might just point out that as I was writing this, Hannah said "Black smoke! LOST!!!!!!!"

H: Hey. I clearly miss it.

A: Don't we all. 93 days, folks.

Uncool Fatties?

A: Happy Monday, everyone.

H: If I could summarize how I feel about this day in one word, I would quote your current Facebook status: "bleeehhhhhhhhhhh."

A: Word. After this weekend, I'm feeling pretty apathetic about this whole going-to-school-thing. I'm ready for Thanksgiving break.

H: I'm ready for Thanksgiving break, but not necessarily Thanksgiving dinner. Considering we may or may not have consumed an average of 80,000 calories per meal this weekend.

A: Not to mention it was all fried. And then we sat around and watched movies and tv shows because of our food coma.

H: I think you should give our audience at home some context.

A: Hannah, Emily-Friend and I attended the second-largest festival in the U.S. (after Mardi Gras.) It's in Evansville, Indiana and famous for its mile stretch of food booths. We probably ate something from every booth. Including the corn-soaked-in-butter-until-you-order-it booth.

H: Favorite item: I'm going to go with my usual fave, sweet potato fries. Sweet potatoes in any form are amazing. Although the aforementioned corn wasn't bad either.

A: Favorite item: Fried cookie dough sundae. Heart attack in a bowl topped with whipped cream, ice cream, and chocolate syrup, baby. It was probably the best night ever, especially since I topped it off with fried macaroni and cheese!

H: Wow, just reading over those last two paragraphs ... it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

A: For my stomach.

H: And my wallet.

A: And that was just on Friday night! Saturday we went back for lunch, and, due to our second food coma in 24 hours, we spent the rest of the day on the couch.

H: Actually, "best of times, worst of times" kind of summarizes that whole weekend. Equilibrium, really?

A: Slightly reminiscent of The Matrix, Equilibrium involves Christian Bale in a world where emotion has been eliminated!!! Basically another 1984 type place where, by taking a shot every day, no one feels anything. Therefore there are no reasons for war, and only times of peace. Except the whole movie is about these peace-people killing people who own art.

H: Yeah, I'm going to add very reminiscent of the Matrix, except Christian Bale > Keanu Reeves. I'm also going to add that I thought it was a pretty lame movie. Although maybe I fell asleep during all the meaningful parts.

A: Like when Christian Bale kills 10 men because he wants to save a puppy?

H: Nope, I was awake for that.

A: Then ... when he breaks down and cries when he hears classical music for the first time?There's nothing more attractive then when a really manly man cries over classical music. Heart!

H: On that note, I'm proud to have introduced you to—

A: —the greatest thing since Elijah Wood when I was thirteen!!!!!

H: One of the many Adrienne quotes from the weekend, referring to some random guy: "I love him! No, wait. I use that word too freely. I love Horatio. I like everyone else." At 2 a.m. we watched the 90s BBC Horatio Hornblower series. Lots of ships, lots of blood, lots of flowy sleeves.

A: Speaking of ships, Horatio is played by dreamboat Ioan Griffudd, pronounced "Yo-ahn Griffeth." BBC always seems to discover these unknown actors that act as good as they look. Um ... I mean ... act as well ... Grammar. Blah.

H: Ah, BBC. You've given us so much. The 6-hour Pride and Prejudice marathons. Ten thousand versions of Sherlock Holmes to choose from. All the oddball comedies that we try really hard to like but don't really because we're not British enough...

A: Oh man, I love those comedies! I never get half of what they say.

H: Yeah, I remember trying to watch the British version of The Office. I swear, I wanted so badly to like it, but I couldn't get past the accents. I just wanted to be that person that says, "Yeah, I watch The Office ... oh, wait, sorry, I meant the original Office." All pretentious-like. But oh well.

A: I'm too Indie for both of The Office shows (this is where I hit that sarcasm button). I was referring to comedies like Death at a Funeral. I had to drive an hour to the Indie Art Theater for that one.

H: Wow, pretentious AND hypocritical. Like two hours ago you were recapping Vampire Diaries for me.

A: Hey, you asked what our guilty pleasures were. WRAPPING UP, Hannah wishes she was cool, and so do I.

H: And you don't have to read much of this blog to see how very far we are from our goal.

A: Well ... that's all ...

Merlin's Apprentice: A Love Story

H: So here's what happens: every so often, Adrienne and I hang out with a mutual friend, Emily. And for some reason, when it's the three of us ... we always end up having this enormous nerdfest. Why do you think that is?

A: Well, let's think of the things that we have in common: Emily and I frequently played Lord of the Rings: Trivial Pursuit last year. You also like Lord of the Rings. Emily and I also get hooked on really lame things ... and poorly made things ... like "Vampire Diaries" and "Glee." Therefore, when we saw my other housemate had a made-for-TV-movie on our shelf, we knew it was love.

H: For me, the draw came from ... the above picture, featured on the back of the DVD case. Just the incredibly intense focus on Merlin's face, as he is clearly manipulating the very matter around him. Meanwhile "Jack," aka "Merlin's Apprentice," on the left looks more like he's doing his best Luke Skywalker impression—

A: Which is convenient since they share a similar fate...that guy's his dad!!!

H: Yeah, so we might as well say that this post has a few minor spoilers. But please, don't let that scare you away ... this isn't going to be getting any two thumbs up any time soon.

A: Also, be assured that you wouldn't watch this movie for its plot anyway. You'd watch it to laugh and quote it for weeks. Years!

H: I almost don't know where to begin.

A: Just the beginning, when Jack is introduced. When that pig pops out of nowhere and Jack's like, "Oh, Pig, are you following me?"

H: Take it completely seriously, though. Because that Pig plays a huge, huge role later on. Wow.

A: You just got introduced to one of the characters ... that helps Jack get to the Land of the Dead.

H: Not to mention providing one of the all-time weirdest innuendos I've ever heard onscreen.

A: Which was also the last line of the entire 3-hour movie. ALAS! Then, after watching hours of bad wizards (and by bad, I don't mean evil) we thought we'd counteract that by spending some time with our favorite wizard, Gandalf, and his friends.

H: I feel like I don't have much to say about the game, except that it's good to know that my geeky middle school years are being put to good use—

A: Or that it's the best game ever and narrated by Gollum.

H: True. So all this to say, we hugely recommend that you pick up "Merlin's Apprentice" at your nearest Wal-Mart $5.00 bin, and watch it with your friends. Just for the laughs.

A: And following that, play Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit. It'll be a night to remember.